Last week Friday I was home alone as the orders for my brand new devotional began to pour in. I had prepared and worked for this day for more than a half a year. And while I was excited and relieved that this day was finally here, I had this chest-tightening sense of defeat and heaviness that I couldn’t shake. Things were going as planned, even better in many ways, but something didn’t feel right. Something was off and I couldn’t shake it.

In the weeks leading up to launch day, I was super busy behind the scenes. Meetings with printers, proofreading. Revisions, more revisions. Sharing on social media, emailing, answering questions. The day before the launch, I was still running circles trying to finish samples of the product line and get pictures.

Once the book launched, I thought I’d be relieved, but instead had this sense of heaviness. Things were going well, I had accomplished all of my tasks, but for some reason, I felt completely unsettled and unfinished.

That Friday morning, I quickly realized what the heaviness was:

In all of the busy-ness of preparing women to hear what this book has to say, I myself had neglected my own quiet time with God. I had pushed Him out of the project that HE inspired me to do! 

In other words…I was a hypocrite who wasn’t heeding my own advice! *face palm*

I know it seems harsh but in all honesty, I don’t want to be a woman who sits behind her computer every day telling other women how important time with God is, and then ignore that truth in my own life. And not because I don’t want to “look bad” but because I believe so strongly that a relationship with God is something worth investing in and worth genuinely living for.

When I let space come between me and God, I notice a shift. My moods are heavier, my patience is shorter. My brain starts to believe the little lies of the enemy that make life seem so much more bleak than it actually is. 

When I let space come between me and God, I’m taking my eyes off of Him and letting the distractions and frustrations of life blind me to all of the goodness He has for me!

Think of it this way…

Do you ever get hangry? You know, that moodiness that reveals itself when you are super hungry and everything makes you mad? The only cure for “hangry-ness” is to eat some food and give your body the nourishment it craves. There are so many days where I find myself pushing snacks at my daughters after school because I want to hear about their day, and they are just to Hangry to tell me about it!  A few minutes after they eat a little something, the blood sugar balances and we can have those talks. The food nourishes the body and regulates everything, right down to the mood.

“…man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” Deuteronomy 8:3