How do I forgive myself?

This week in the news, we watched a beautiful story of selfless and Christ-like forgiveness in action. As I watched the video, I couldn’t even begin to imagine the strength and integrity that that young boy must have to make such a bold and sincere statement. But I also know, that apart from God, forgiveness like that is even MORE difficult. I know this because in the instances in my life where I had to forgive for something that I could justifiably stay angry for how wronged I was, I had to rely on God’s supernatural grace and strength to  soften my heart to a place of true forgiveness. (Philippians 4:10-13) 

But when it comes to myself, I have a very hard time letting go of personal guilt, and while I can forgive people, I find it nearly impossible to let myself off the hook for small mistakes, much less forgive myself for the bigger ones.

Why is it so hard to forgive ourselves?

Maybe it’s because we know ourselves too well. Or maybe it’s because we can’t get any distance between ourselves and our shortcomings. It could be a million different things. But one thing I’m seeing is that to forgive someone else frees you even more than it frees the other person. But trying to forgive yourself means that you have to be able to face the fact that while you mess up, you aren’t perfect and even if you move past this, you know you’ll mess up again. 

Forgiving someone else means that you acknowledge THEIR fault and move past it, but to forgive yourself means that you have to admit your OWN fault and find a way to move past it and actually grow from it. 

The good news is, God’s grace covers your own mistakes, too.

If you read the story of Joseph and his brothers in Genesis, I noticed in chapter 50, verses 15-20 that the brothers didn’t believe Joseph could forgive them. They knew how wrong they were and how awful the acts they committed against him actually were. But when they approached him asking for forgiveness, his response really got to me. He said “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (vs 20 NIV)

God’s grace and His death wasn’t just to forgive the acts that are committed against us, His blood was shed for you, too! 

Whatever it is that you are holding on to, that thing that you can’t forgive yourself for, you need to give it back to Him. It’s a process, but I promise you that through His strength, you can find a way to forgive yourself. And the best part is, that once you can let go of your guilt and self-punishment, you can open yourself up to see how God can use even those mistakes for something bigger. 

It begins with you

The process of forgiving yourself begins with you. Talk to God about it, seek out answers in His Word. Today the journaling prompts are going to be to help you start this process a bit. So grab a journal and find a quiet space. We’re going to do some heart work today!

I’ve got a long ways to go before I have all of the answers about forgiveness. I think it’s something we’ll continue to struggle with until that glorious day that we see Jesus again. But God’s Word has a lot to say about it, and we can keep learning and growing closer to God’s perfect truth. 

In the meantime, try to be the best you you can. Turn away from the things that you do that you know you shouldn’t. Get a friend involved, have some accountability. (this helps a ton, even if it’s a little uncomfortable or annoying at times) In some cases you may need to reach out to a pastor or Christian counselor to sort through the things that haunt you. But that’s ok. Begin taking those steps, each step is a step closer to finding that forgiveness.