It was such a beautiful Friday morning. The sun was shining, it was early fall so there was still a warmth in the air through the open windows. I was surrounded by a group of people, maybe 5? 10? I’m not sure because I can’t remember who was there. As everyone quietly talked and ironed out details around me, I stared out of the open window. I remember seeing the birds outside, how life was so normal for them, they were enjoying the sunshine while I sat in this house, listening to people around me make plans for my Mom’s funeral. She had passed away about 6 hours before.
I was numb and feeling suffocated, I was still in shock. But as I looked out that open window, for a moment I was reminded that even as my world was crumbling in around me, somehow, the greater world around me was still OK.
On that morning, I had no idea how life could possibly go on, because mine felt like it ended when my Mom took her last breath. I didn’t know how to move on and life my life without her here being a part of it.
Why do I always second guess what God is up to? When I think about how limited my own understanding of most things is, I find it amazing that I need to be reminded of this simple truth in God’s Word:
He is trust-worthy.
Not because I’m a person without trust issues, because to some degree, I think all of us have some trust issues. Because we are human beings, tainted by sin. So trusting wholeheartedly doesn’t always come naturally or easily. Instead of trying to figure everything out, it’s time I realize that even when I don’t understand the how’s or why’s, God knows what to do.
When we feel like we aren’t strong enough, the timing isn’t right, or even that what He is asking us to do simply doesn’t “feel” right, we can push through the doubts and rest in the knowledge that He is completely trust-worthy!
It’s now been more than 20 years since I looked out that window that morning. And while I still don’t understand why, I do understand that God is so amazingly good, even in bad times. That even though my life didn’t look the way I had planned, He still gave me more than I would have ever thought to ask for!
I can tell you for that first year, many mornings I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Some days I didn’t. But eventually, I found the courage to live, knowing that He still had a purpose for me. And His purpose wasn’t just to get me through a difficult time, but it was to use that difficult time to deepen my faith and grow my testimony so that all of these years later I can look back on that time in my life with gratitude for what He has done for me ♥️
I want to encourage you today that no matter what’s going on in your life right now, to trust that God is doing something. He is using this special time in your life, good or bad and one day it will be evident the work that He did in you through it.
I’m blessed in the sense that I get to create things that reflect what God is teaching me. This lesson about trusting Him has been something He and I have been working on for a very long time, and it’s far from complete!
I made this collection so that I could surround myself with reminders: In the car, in my home, when I write, read my Bible, drink my coffee…everywhere! When I see them, it’s like God is saying “Don’t forget Angie, you can trust me in the little things!”
I use these everyday, and I hope you can be blessed by them too ♥️
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