Hey there! Hello!!! I’ve missed you!!
For more than one year I faithfully posted here every single week. I was searching out God’s Word, and prayerfully posting here. Not because I wanted website visits and sales (although, they do help!) but because knowing that people like you were counting on me showing up.
I’d get emails every week with people pouring their hearts out to me and asking for prayer, and I happily responded and prayed for each person who reached out. Giving myself this deadline of posting every week held me accountable and it strengthened my own faith.
But here I am, it’s been a few months, and I feel like I need to be transparent about why.
This part of my website is a place where I’ve always felt that I can be honest and can share my heart because I know from the response that I get that truth resonates. And today will be no different. I’ve sort of been afraid to share this, but I need to you know that we all go through stuff. We all have times that test our faith. But that doesn’t mean that God gives up on us.
Over the last six months or so, I’ve found myself in a place of doubt. Not my faith, I don’t feel like I ever doubted who God is or what He has promised me. But myself.
I felt like a hypocrite.
Here I was, posting every week about reading your Bible, sharing your faith, praying and finding peace in Jesus Christ. But at the end of the day, I felt like as a parent, I was a failure.
Friends, I’m going to tell you, having teenagers is not for the faint of heart. Finding who you are as your kids grow away from you is something no one prepared me for! And I’ll admit, I’ve had a lot of “woe is me” moments where I questioned why I couldn’t have a Mom of my own to go to during this time.
As I’m navigating this phase of life, I feel like I was making more mistakes than anything, and I felt almost like I had no business jumping online and sharing positive affirmations when I felt like a hot mess.
But as often as the sun sets and rises, God’s grace always shows up.
So here I am. Humbly reminding you that we can’t always have it all together. That when you are having a bad day, or even a bad year, you aren’t alone! When doubt and self-loathing tempt to turn your face from the One who loves you just as you are (as He created you to be!) remember that that is only the enemy trying to pull you away.
Don’t let Him.
You might have to force it, but when you don’t feel like it, it’s more important than ever:
- Read your Bible
- Pray often about everything
- When you can’t pray, ask others to lift you up
- Write down your thoughts, good and bad, in a journal
- Surround yourself with people who will remind you of the truth
- Don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable with someone.
I want to close today with some beautiful words that Paul shared with the Romans. Look at the language he uses: Faith. Peace. Grace. Hope. Perseverance. Character.
These words don’t describe a hopeless and empty existence. These words don’t describe who I feel I am sometimes. But they serve as an important reminder and promise that God uses this stuff. Just because you don’t look all shiney and polished on the outside right now, His promises are still coming.
So go ahead and feel what you are feeling. Just don’t hide. (If you need a place, I do have a private facebook group which is a safe place to ask for prayer, pray for others and grow your faith. Click here to join us!)
And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.